Friday, February 27, 2009

shameless self-promotion

I don't subscribe to the whole Myspace/Facebook culture. I made the decision when Myspace originated that I would never create one, and I take immense pride in the fact that I haven't caved. I didn't realize then that these "networking" sites would one day become so widespread that exchanging links to each others' pages would become more socially acceptable than exchanging phone numbers. What began as a cult has evolved into the norm, and I'm still waiting for the trend to die out.

A lot of people find my aversion to Myspace and Facebook off-putting. What-ev. I really don't mind that you spend so much time shooting and editing photos of yourselves in bathrooms, perfecting your angles, making pouty faces. I participate in this self-absorbed ritual, too. I wish I didn't, but I do. My name is Joanna and I take Myspace photos of myself. I just wish that people would stop deluding themselves and admit why they really created these pages - to judge and be judged.

We all want validation. Some people need to be told that they're beautiful, and they've figured out that by posting photos of themselves - in just the right lighting, or with just the right body parts cropped, or in just the right lingerie - someone is bound to take notice. Some people need to know that their ex-boyfriend's-new-girlfriend is far less attractive/successful/interesting than they are. And some people just want to make sure that somebody has gained more weight than they have since high school. For these reasons, Myspace and Facebook make sense. Just not enough sense for me to jump on the bandwagon. I already have a blog; what more do you want from me?

Anyway, my Myspace/Facebook rant does actually have a point. It just takes me a very long time to get to said point because I abuse any freedom that I'm allowed.

What's that, you ask? It's "Beat by Beat"! So, WTF is "Beat by Beat"? Don't worry. It's not porn. Well, not really. "Beat by Beat" is a student-produced reality web series competition featuring 15 screenwriters (yay, me!) who are divided into 4 teams to create a pilot episode for an original series. Every other week, a new episode will be added to the site, chronicling our journey. If you're not confused, I applaud you. Basically, no one knows what the screenwriting process entails, and this is our way of showing the world how fun and cute and quirky and hilarious and obnoxious and demented and twisted and pathetic and brilliant we really are.

All of us lil' screenwriters are whoring that site out to everyone we know. And those with Myspaces/Facebooks (i.e. everyone but me) have been able to reach a hell of a lot more people than I have by word of mouth alone. I initially thought that I was at a disadvantage because of my lack of technology-based networking capabilities, but then I thought, hey, my blog is just as good a place to whore out my work as any Myspace or Facebook. So, ha. I get to have my integrity cake and eat it, too.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Soundtrack to My Life

I should be doing homework. Lots of it. I am in total denial of all the shit I have to do before I leave for Spring Break. I should be job hunting. I should not be watching "Rachael Ray." I cannot cook; who the fuck am I kidding? So amidst all the shoulds, I figured it was time do some of what I call "productive procrastination." Productive procrastination includes anything enjoyable that distracts me from the anxiety that comes with normal procrastination. Confused? Allow me to clarify.

Normal procrastination - folding laundry, shopping for necessary items, basically anything that you HAVE to do at some point but is less time consuming and/or emotionally draining than all the other things you have to do in a more timely manner. Productive procrastination - shopping for UNnecessary items, attemtping new makeup techniques, masturbating... if you can get in and out in under 3 minutes. If it takes you longer than this, it becomes a chore, and then it would be considered normal procrastination. And sad. And probably cause you more anxiety than whatever you're attempting to distract yourself from. ANYWAY...

I suppose the inventor of blogs was on to this phenomenon... assuming he/she was a writer and needed a creative outlet to hone his/her skills while killing some time. I really love the phrase "killing time." It is my "cellar door." If you don't know that reference, you're way cooler than me. Back to the topic...

I've been wanting to update this bitch for MONTHS, but haven't gotten around to it because I was busy doing all the things that are worth writing about. But instead of writing about the myriad of interesting things that I do, I will now share with you "The Soundtrack to My Life." And listen up, kids - you can make your own! Just pull up your i-Tunes or whatever other new-fangled music library you may have on your computer, select "Shuffle," and hit "Play" for each new category. No cheating - if I can disclose my horrendous musical preferences and resist the urge to edit the not-so-interesting selections, you can, too. Here goes...

1) Opening Credits
Sugar – System of Down (apparently my movie took place in 2003 at the height of my punk-imposter fashion era. I associate this song with nothing but good memories, and so far, I like my movie.)

2) Waking Up
I Miss You - Incubus (when I wake up, the only thing I miss is sleeping. Usually.)

3) First Day of School
Tiny Dancer – Elton John

4) Falling in Love
Which Will – Nick Drake (if my movie suddenly jumped to the present, this one is so dead-on that it's fucking scary.)

5) Fight Song
Deathblow - Deftones

6) Breaking Up
Pink Maggit - Deftones

7) Prom
Birthmark – Deftones (so this game loves Deftones, I see. Perhaps they are about to go on tour and paid me a shitload of money to put their music all over my soundtrack. And on a sidenote, if this was likely going to be played at my prom, I probably would have gone.)

8) Life's OK
Rubber Mallet – Alien Ant Farm

9) Mental Breakdown
The Good Fight – Dashboard Confessional

10) Driving
1000 Miles – Vanessa Carlton

11) Flashback
Tainted Love - Marilyn Manson

12) Getting Back Together
Nowhere Man – The Beatles (this fits with practically anyone I could get back together with. Sorry, exes...)

13) Wedding
The Fight Song - Marilyn Manson (we have the number 13, Marilyn Manson, and "The Fight Song." I believe that my movie-marriage will not end well.)

14) Birth of a Child
Jesse’s Girl – Rick Springfield (Jesus, let's hope not. But wouldn't that be an interesting plot point... likely resulting in the upcoming death scene.)

15) Final Battle
The Rules – The Backyardigans

16) Death Scene
You’re the One - SWV (my movie just landed in the $1 bin at CVS.)

17) Funeral
Satellite – Dave Matthews

18) Closing Credits
Minus Blindfold - Deftones

So what did we learn? This game is occasionally on-point, usually bullshit, and wants everyone to think that I have an unhealthy Deftones obsession. However, it is thoroughly enjoyable, and I encourage you all to participate in this particular version of productive procrastination.